body image

Hey everyone! It's me (your friendly neighborhood college student). 

I've been thinking about writing this blog post for almost an entire year. I never got around to it, and maybe that's partially because I always get caught up with homework. (Like I should be doing RIGHT NOW) But more realistically, it's just because I can never figure out how to say what's been on my mind. A few fears continuously persist: what if I come off as judgy? What if people get offended? What if I sound like I'm just making excuses? 

But, honestly, who cares what the dark side of my brain is screaming at me? I sure shouldn't. 

I've always struggled with body image. When I was in high school, I always looked at my skinnier friends and thought about how much bigger than them I was. I used to joke that every time I tried to buy something from Hollister that I couldn't because I needed to shop in the "big and tall" section. Now, I cringe when I remember how vocal I was about how much I hated my body. Because honestly, even when we don't realize it, our own focalized negative feelings affect everyone around us. If someone around you is constantly criticizing their own body, it's easy to then say "well, yeah, I guess I kinda hate my body, too. I think my nose is too big" or "I have too many freckles" or "my thighs don't have a gap" or "I'm too skinny".

A couple things made me realize that criticizing my body was A WASTE OF TIME. 

The first: I realized that I never ever ever looked at any of my sisters, any of my friends, my mom, my brothers, my dad, my husband, and thought "wow, they could really lose weight" or "wow, there is so much wrong with them". I have NEVER had any of those thoughts. I love my family and friends and husband with my entire heart and even the thought of THINKING that breaks my heart. So WHY would I think those things about myself? What would change in my daily life if I saw myself how I saw the people I loved? As perfectly themselves.

The second: an instagram influencer. Now, this one seems a little backwards since usually we follow instagram influencers and just drool over their lives and bodies and houses and wish they were ours. But this influencer studies psychology and is going to be specializing in counseling people with eating disorders. Even though she's just a student, she's always posting studies about eating. And weight. And losing weight. And they all focus on the same ideas. These ideas include the fact that losing weight is a byproduct of being healthy, being healthy isn't a byproduct of losing weight. Just because you lose weight does not meant that's the best thing for your body. The constant obsession of a number on a scale promotes an unhealthy relationship with food, where people will go to extreme lengths to meet a goal. Also, the idea that everyone has to be skinny is a socially constructed ideal. Society pressures us to be skinner and it promotes this idea that skinny means happy. Which is just not true. 

(And if you are thinking "but I would be so much happier if I was skinnier!" as yourself "do I think this because the propaganda of losing weight is ALL I see? Do I think there is something wrong with me because everyone else is promoting the idea that happiness is equal to how much I weigh?")

The third: I thought about my future as a mom. What if I was vocal around my kids about how concerned I was about my body? And how much I hated it, especially if I continuously told them that pregnancy had ruined it. I honestly believe parents are the first ones that affect our body image, a close second being kids in school, of course. I decided that I wanted to work on myself and the way I saw myself before ever trying to have kids. I wanted to be able to teach them how important it was to be PROUD of what their body does for them everyday. That there was nothing wrong with them and that everyone is different. Because fundamentally, what people look like doesn't matter. If you teach a kid that from an early age, it solves so many problems. It teaches them that what people bring to the table is what matters, and you can't really tell that from just looking at someone. You have to talk to them human to human to get to know them. 

So what? Why am I talking about this? 

I honestly see how damaging body image is to everyone around me. It's because of this obsession, because of comparisons, and I'M SORRY, but because everyone is always posting before and after pictures and preaching about how much happier they are. People fixate on their own appearance and every one else's. Why is it that we can scroll through instagram and see people commenting on each others posts ONLY complimenting them on their bodies? No wonder we are consumed by the idea of "looking our best". How about we focus more on "feeling our best"? Eating food that makes us HAPPY and makes our bodies feel good, not depriving ourselves for the next instagram picture. How about we buy clothes that fit us and make us feel great, instead of keeping those jeans two sizes too small in the back of our closet waiting to fit into them? 

I'm not saying to stop eating healthy and working out. The opposite, actually. DO the things that make you HAPPY. And do it for yourself, don't just do it for the gram. Stop fixating on how you look and GO OUT AND DO YOUR FAVORITE THINGS. That's real self care, my friends. Wear the make up that makes you feel bomb, or don't wear make up at all. But whatever you do, know that your appearance is not the best thing about you. And I am saying that we should compliment each other on the things that really matter: our brains, our personality, the way we look at the world. I laugh at the idea that once we die, the only thing that will matter is how skinny we got. What a ridiculous idea. 

I weigh: 

A great marriage

A passion for history

A book worm

An aspiring writer

A dog mom

A sister

A film enthusiast 

Signing off until next time, 

Ella Frances Taggart