marriage

Currently: I'm wondering why I don't have a laptop with keys that light up, and I'm counting down the seconds to when Coulsen will step through the door. Just an hour now. A puppy sleeps beside me, warn out from terrorizing my friend and I while we were striving to get an assignment in for our online class. Iris makes noises when she sleeps. She groans, whines, and almost barks while her whole body twitches when (I'm sure) she chases other dogs in her sleep. She's cute, but this post is only partially about her. 

It's been a while since I've written. I make excuses every time I let time slip away without writing. The other day, I was driving home from work and I asked myself, "why don't you write more? You say it's your passion, but you never do it." I'm right, I don't do it as much as I used to. But I realized today that it's not about my passion going away, it's more so about more distractions creeping into my life. I still am passionate. I just need to get better at making it a priority. 

So here I am. Prioritizing. 

The most life changing thing that has happened since I last wrote is that I got married!! But most of you, who only read this because I post about it on my social media, know all about this. I've been meaning to write a post about getting married, and even wrote out a few that lay unpublished. Some centered on Coulsen and I's decision to get married in the courthouse, some centered around the step by step events of our day. But three months have past now, and it seems like going through the day might be a little too much old news. (But, of course, I'm willing to write about it if it's desired. It was an amazing day- my favorite!)

So today I'm not here to talk in depth about the wedding because in all reality, even though I loved our wedding day, it's not what matters. Our relationship is what matters, so I'm going to write about that.

I've learned a lot since "tying the knot". A few things include:

changing your name is a long and tedious process, and even after it you'll still catch yourself introducing yourself with your maiden name.

When you get married you're suddenly really an adult and that sucks! Car payments, joint bank accounts, financial stress, etc. It's kinda lame. 

Even when you put the hamper in the same place everyday, your husband will still find a way to avoid putting his dirty clothes in it. He'll do the same thing with his dirty dishes, but after three months, he'll finally start gettting the point. 

But those aren't the important things!

You'll also learn that even when you thought that there was no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that you could love your spouse more than you did when you were dating, your wrong! Your love will be 100x more intense. It's the kinda love that is so frustrating, because even when your tired of each other, they'll leave for 5 minutes and you'll be calling them "I miss you". This has happened more times than I can count. My favorite story being when Coulsen came up with the idea of ordering books for each other, surprising the other with a story we think they'd like, and then reading, and then discussing it. 

I've learned that a conversation planning a future is one of the most exciting and comforting things imaginable. The idea of being with someone forever is so peaceful. So content. It's a promise that even when you're being crazy, or even when things get hard, someone is there for you. They choose to be and they make that constant choice everyday.

And while I know there are circumstances that make divorce unavoidable, thinking that that is a possibility almost seems like a myth to me. It seems like a word that could never leave our lips seriously. (I'll admit, we do think it's really funny to say "I'm divorcing you" when one of us disagrees with the other on something silly. I'm sure it happened the other day when we got in a debate about which kind of cookie was best: sugar or chocolate chip.)

Having a spouses family fully accept you is one of the greatest feelings. Like your making multiple new friends in one go. They're stuck with you, but if you're going to enjoy visiting and they're going to enjoy seeing you, you're golden. And I got really lucky with Coulsens tight knit and super hilarious family members. 

Laughing is the best way to spend the time. If you can't enjoy your spouse in hard conversations, in awkward conversations, in talking about the future, in making jokes, than what are you doing? 

I realize that we're new at this. But I've kept all of this inside for so long. I've felt so strongly that I should just go on top of a building in downtown and shout how grateful I am for Coulsen. That I married him, that he is who he is, that I get to spend forever to him. 

I have so much to learn about marriage. I ask married people constantly how they do it, and read religiously the book on marriage that my mother gifted me. I wake up knowing that I want to make today better than yesterday in our relationship. I want to put our relationship above all else. 

So there is my little rant, putting it out for the world to see. 

Thanks so much for reading.

Stay golden, 

Ella Frances Taggart