I often find myself pondering what life has been like lately, or how my life is now compared to four years ago. The other day I was thinking about my senior year of high school. So many questions loomed over my head that year: "where are you going to college?" "what are you going to study?" "what do you want to do with your life?". And then, of course, there were the more personal ones that I wasn't getting asked, but I was asking myself. Like "what happens if you get to college and hate what you chose to major in? Where will you go next? What will happen with your future? If I got to Eastern Oregon, will I be missing out at the social atmosphere and spirituality of BYU-I?"
Eventually, I figured it all out. That summer was one of the best summers of my life! I had so much fun traveling to see family, working with new people, planning my future, buying stuff for my house with Trampis that I was so excited to move into. I also said goodbye to a lot of friends, wondered how I would ever get by without my mom.
I find myself, again, in that season of changes. Of "what if's". Of preparing the goodbyes, preparing for the start of new adventures (but this time I'm preparing to do it all with the love of my life!!!!).
This last year has come with a lot of decision making and thinking about the future. Coulsen and I have gone back and forth about what 2020 will look like for us. Will we be packing up to move so I can go to grad school? Will we be staying in La Grande for another school year so Coulsen can graduate with his bachelors? Will I be applying to grad school in December 2019, or waiting a year? If I'm applying, where will I apply to? Where will we want to go?
After so much deliberation, we've decided that this year (senior year of my undergrad) I will apply to grad school. Right now I'm in the thick of preparing for what schools I'll apply to, taking the GRE test, preparing to have a full school year load while trying to work and save money for the move next summer.
We have no idea where we will go (we won't know until March/April). We have a list of schools I will apply to, but in reality, we have no idea where we will get accepted, where I will be offered scholarships/assistantships.
Coulsen has been so supportive and excited about the process.
The other day, we were sitting on the grass at the dog park, watching our puppy work her little body hard to retrieve her tennis ball and bring it right back to us. I looked over at my husband and said, "isn't it crazy that in a year we will be moving, or will have already moved to a new city?". We spent a moment wondering what our life will be like in a year. Where we might move, what our new house will be like, what our new routine will bring. We were almost jittery with excitement and nerves.
I guess I've always assumed that once you went off to college, you had your life figured out. AT LEAST by the time you got married, it would be all in place. But life is so completely full of the "unknowns" and "what ifs". Coulsen and I love to wonder about our future. What will the next step bring? What will our life be like in 5 years? Will we have kids? Will I be in school? Will he be in a career?
It's exciting and scary. Even once I graduate and get into a career, there is still so much unknown.
Life is ever changing. I think of 10 years ago, how different my life was. Or 7 years ago. Or 5 years ago.
At age 14 I had no idea that this new cute boy who was paying me attention was going to turn out to be my husband. I had no idea I would go to the same school that my parents went to for college. I had no idea I would get to live with Trampis again, for two years before we both got married, and I had no idea I wanted to be a history professor. I had no idea.
But I guess that's the beauty of life, isn't it? We have no idea what tomorrow will bring and we keep moving forward, anyway. Into the unknown.
Our little Iris girl being cute and sleepy.
An updated picture of me, with make up and my hair done (rare for working 7 days a week).
Coulsen being the cute, kind hearted person he is. Demanding to feed the horses at my grandparents some apples.
A more in detailed life update coming soon.
Signing off until next time,
Ella Frances Taggart
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